‘Reduce some of those tantrums': 4 simple tips from a psychologist to manage your child’s screen time

Managing your child's screen time can be one of the most challenging aspects of modern parenting.

Over two-thirds of parents cite "overuse of devices [and] screen time" as their top concern for their children, according to the 2023 C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health.

One way to ease that burden is for parents to go easy on themselves when they allow their kids extra screen time, especially if it means the parents have more time to finish some work or household chores, says psychologist Claire Christensen.

Christensen, a children's media researcher at SRI International, says it's important for parents to remember that not all screen time is bad. Watching high-quality, educational content can help your kids learn important skills and develop emotional intelligence — which can help them grow into successful adults.

"I encourage families, instead of cutting back on all their screen time, to sit down and think about what needs [it's] meeting. Let's keep screen time where it's working for us," Christensen tells CNBC Make It.

Christensen recommends that parents strive for a balance they're comfortable with for their own families. That means parents will still often find themselves looking for better ways to avoid an emotional meltdown from their child when it's time to transition away from screen time to other activities, like sitting down for a family meal or going to bed.

Then, Christensen says, it's time to "troubleshoot and problem solve."

Here are her top tips for helping young children transition away from screen time without triggering a tantrum.

Have rules in place, and be consistent

While banning all screen time is an over-reaction, Christensen says parents should still have rules in place and aim to stick to them to create a routine.

"Research shows that kids are less likely to have problematic relationships with their media use if their parents have rules," she says.

Christensen recommends creating a media-watching routine. Plan out when your kids engage with screen time, and for how long. Doing that helps you be more proactive about steering kids toward higher-quality content.

Establishing and sticking to a routine also makes it easier for your child to turn off the TV or put down a tablet without getting upset.

"Building screen time into your kids' routine can make it easier for them to stop," Christensen says. "If they know: 'Every day, we get to watch screen time while Dad makes dinner, and then when he's done, we stop,' that can reduce some of those tantrums around media use."

Lean toward longer content

There is plenty of research to show that short-form videos, from a 60-second TikTok to a 10-minute YouTube video, negatively affect our attention spans by delivering instant gratification and packing a lot of stimuli into a small window.

Short videos can especially "pack a potent punch for kids," making it harder for them to stop watching, Christensen says. "That can be overstimulating, and it can create some problematic relationships with media, where we expect to just keep receiving reward, reward, reward."

With that in mind, steer your kids toward longer content, like TV shows that stretch a narrative over 30-minute episodes. Those programs can help your kids "build out [their] attention spans a little longer," which will make it less likely that they insist on zoning out to watch an endless stream of short videos, Christensen says.

Don't give a two-minute warning

If you're sticking to a routine, it makes sense to give your child a heads up when that planned screen time is coming to an end. But issuing a "two-minute warning" to let your child know it's almost time to do something else might instead trigger a pre-emptive tantrum, Christensen notes.

You're likely better off saving that reminder for yourself, so you can use that time to start planning the next activity.

"Give yourself two minutes to think about what you can invite your kid to do next … something engaging that I can offer them immediately when they're done," Christensen says.

That gentle change of topic can help your child move on from screen time more seamlessly than a firm time warning. If you're moving from screen time directly to a meal, she recommends offering your child a choice of beverage, like, "Milk or juice?"

Transitioning from screen time to play can also be helpful. "Set up some half-built Lego or Duplo buildings and say, 'Can you come help me finish this?'" Christensen recommends.

Make technology the 'bad guy'

Your smartphone might have settings that let you set screen time limits to ensure your kids stick to their planned screen time routines. There are apps for managing screen time and some specific platforms and channels, like YouTube Kids, let parents set limits on how much content can be viewed at a time.

This suggestion is most helpful with younger children, who are less likely to figure out ways around those screen-time limits. When those options are available, it can make parents' jobs a little easier.

"One study found that kids are less likely to have difficult reactions to the end of screen time if they think the tablet ended it, rather than the parent," she says.

In that same 2016 study, from researchers at the University of Washington, some parents reported having success telling their young children that screen time was over because the WiFi went down, or that a show they watched on vacation wasn't available at home.

"[The tip] that tends to be parents' favorite is about making technology the bad guy," Christensen says.

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