Knowing yourself involves knowing your own interests, values and temperament. Once you know that, you can build your life around the things that are true for you instead of what you wish were true or what other people expect from you, Rubin says.
But she also points out that this isn't an easy task to tackle.
"The challenge of self-awareness is that it is a constant challenge," Rubin says. "It's not something that you can figure out and then be done, because we're changing all the time. Our circumstances change, our lives change."
Rubin adds that self-awareness can also be difficult or painful because it means acknowledging painful truths about yourself, "but it really is the key to a happier life."
She instead encourages you to ask yourself indirect questions that reveal more about yourself than you might realize.
Some examples of these questions Rubins recommends include:
- "What do I lie about?" This reveals where your actions and values aren't lining up.
- "Whom do I envy?" This reveals what someone else has that you actually wish you had.
- "What did I do for fun when I was ten years old?" The answer to this is usually something that you would still enjoy now if you can figure out a way to incorporate it into your life.
"These kinds of indirect questions can be helpful because while self-knowledge is so important, it's a relentless thing that we have to be doing all the time," Rubin says.
"Once we know that then we can really use that to build a happier lives life for ourselves," Rubin adds.
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