These are the 2 most annoying co-worker habits, new survey shows—here's how to handle them

You may want to think twice before you raise your voice in a meeting or complain about a co-worker behind their back.

Loud talkers and office gossip are the most irritating office pet peeves, according to a recent report from Robert Half, which surveyed over 1,000 workers in August. 

"Some annoyances come and go, but office gossip and loud talkers are disruptive and can really hinder your focus, productivity and relationships at work," says Dawn Fay, operational president at Robert Half. "They're not just distractions, they're dangerous habits that can cause turmoil for your career."

Some awkwardness is to be expected as more people return to offices after working from home for 3+ years. It's no surprise, then, that professional etiquette blunders are becoming more frequent as well, the report notes.

As Fay explains, "Many employees switched jobs during the pandemic, and are navigating office politics for the first time, while others might have developed new habits working remotely that push the boundaries of office-appropriate behavior."

But how do you deal with these grievances diplomatically? 

Brandon Smith, a therapist and career coach known as The Workplace Therapist, outlines strategies for overcoming these two office pet peeves:

Block them out: If you're comfortable using noise-canceling headphones at your desk, or can move to a different room, try that first to avoid any potential conflict with the loud talker.

Ask them for help: If you can't avoid the loud talker, wait until the next time you have an important call, or a big project due, and ask them ahead of time to keep the volume down. Smith suggests the following script: "I'm sorry, I really don't want to be a nuisance, but I have an important call in an hour, so if you could talk a little more quietly during that time, it would help me concentrate, and I'd really appreciate it." 

With this approach, "You're setting a healthy boundary ahead of time, and it's an invitation for them to help out — most people are receptive to those kinds of requests because it's a chance to show that they're benevolent, generous and kind."

When all else fails: Have a private conversation with your manager. After describing the issue, Smith recommends saying to your boss: "I could really use your help because a lot of the work I have requires focus or some degree of privacy and this particular individual is really preventing me from being able to accomplish that. I've tried other methods and none have worked, so if there's any help or guidance you can offer, I'd really appreciate it."

First, you need to determine if the conversation is idle chit-chat or spilling over into gossiping territory. Smith recommends asking yourself the following two questions:

• Would the person being discussed feel uncomfortable participating in this conversation? 
• Does the conversation focus on the negative or share information that could cause harm to someone's reputation?

If the answer to either question is "yes," it's gossip — and should be avoided at all costs. But if you're confronted with office gossip, about yourself or someone else, here's what to do: 

Clarify, then confront: If someone approaches you and says others are gossiping about you, ask for specifics, says Smith. "Don't jump to conclusions or express emotion," he says. "Instead, say, 'Maybe you misunderstood. Can you tell me a little more about what you heard them say?'" 

Once you're clear on the gossip in question, go back to the source and confront them directly. "Assume positive intent and present it as an issue you'd like to solve together, rather than treating them as an adversary," says Smith. "Say: 'I heard these comments, and I'm certain that's not what you intended, but I'm stuck on how to interpret these comments and move forward and could use your help.'" 

Plead the fifth: If a co-worker tries to goad you into gossiping, keep your professional distance. "For example, if a co-worker asks you to chime in on a negative criticism of your other colleague, Bob, you can say, 'I haven't had any of those experiences with Bob, so I really can't add much to the conversation,' and change the subject," says Smith.

Ideally, your co-workers will get the hint that you're not one to gossip — but if they approach you with gossip again, try to gently re-direct the conversation. "Gossiping at work almost never ends well, it just leads to hurt feelings and corrodes trust," says Smith. "Feeling awkward in a conversation for 5 minutes is worth it to avoid the long-term consequences of joining in on the gossip."

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