If your goals center around "winning" at something, you're in trouble.
That's according to bestselling author and leadership expert Simon Sinek, who recommends setting goals that focus more on the process of self-improvement than specific outcomes of future scenarios.
"There's no such thing as winning," Sinek said recently at the 2023 World Business Forum summit. "Yes, it's good to have goals. There's no problem with having a target. Sometimes you'll hit them, and sometimes you'll miss them. The more important thing is, what's your momentum?"
Constantly trying to beat your competition is a pointless exercise, said Sinek: Workplaces and day-to-day lives aren't sports with clear winners and losers. In business for example: No matter how much money you make, someone else probably has less and someone else probably has more, he noted.
"When you listen to the language of too many of our business leaders, it becomes abundantly clear that they have no clue the game they're playing," said Sinek. "They talk about being No. 1, being the best or beating their competition based upon objectives, metrics and timeframes."
That doesn't mean you can't work hard to get ahead. Sinek's advice: Build goals that are rooted in an "infinite mindset," where you're continuously working on long term, sustainable growth.
Instead of trying to work hard to become employee of the month, for example, consider which skills might lend themselves to recognizable success — like time management, teamwork or customer service.
Focusing solely on sharpening those skills could benefit you in a more holistic way: You might still win that award as a byproduct, and you won't be as frustrated if someone else gets chosen.
It may also help to get rid of specific goals altogether. In an April TED Talk, ex-NFL linebacker and two-time Emmy-winning television personality Emmanuel Acho credited his career change and ensuing success to that strategy.
After being crushed too many times by falling short of his goals, Acho decided to open himself up to anything more incremental that might help lead him toward "excellence," he added.
The broader mindset helped him evaluate a television job offer and decide to take it — which never would've happened if he was still stubbornly focusing on his NFL goals, he said.
Acho said he used to be fueled by proving other people wrong. That's essentially the same unhealthy mindset that "business leaders" often get caught in, Sinek noted.
"Nobody wins [in their] career," said Sinek. "There's no such thing as being No. 1 in your marriage. There's no such thing as winning education and there's definitely no such thing as being No. 1 in business."
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