Successful people have two areas of focus: the present moment and creating the future that they desire. When you have setbacks, it's easy to stay in the past, beat yourself up over your shortcomings and lose track of what you want for your life.
The real estate crash in 2008 hit me hard. I had some success up to that point, but things came tumbling down all because I got comfortable. Your situation may be different. Maybe you're starting out, tried to launch a business but it didn't go anywhere, or you're closing your doors. It doesn't matter what stage you're in or what the stakes are — we all have setbacks.
The problem is that most people don't know what to do when they fail.
The truly successful rely on their ability to act, despite facing obstacles and difficulties. When things aren't going well, it's easy to "take it easy" and to not be "hard on yourself," like conventional wisdom tells you to do. To recover from failure, you have to act now and then keep going with the knowledge that enough actions taken will turn into the future you want.
You've got to turn yourself into a hungry dog on the back of the meat truck. The dog doesn't care what happened in the past, they're obsessively focused on what they need to do to get their next meal.
How do you respond to failure?
Failures and disappointments can cause fear — maybe about your ability to make money, to be a role model for your kids or to make your family proud of your accomplishments. Successful people embrace fear and discomfort and take steps that are closest to their goals.
When you encounter any failure, here's how to cope:
1. Write down your goals and don't reduce them
How do you know if you have the right goal? Your goals have to be more valuable than the risk or you have determined the wrong target.
Ask yourself what you have to do to become the name people think of for your area of expertise. This exercise will help you create the list of targets that will make your stretch goals a reality.
Just because something didn't work in the past doesn't mean you should minimize your goals. It means that your actions were either wrong or not at massive, 10X levels.
2. Don't get lost in the details
When your goals are massive, it's easy to get lost in the "how tos" and the "cannots." Don't let the mechanics derail you from hitting your targets.
You're not going to know how you will get the results you want right away. Don't let the fact that you're unsure of exactly how to get it done be the reason that you don't take action.
3. Move closer to your goals right now
Success is incremental. There are no guaranteed outcomes; it's up to you to remind yourself that you can make it happen.
Take steps toward the summit at any pace you can muster. Slow gets you closer to the top than just sitting around the campfire wondering what to do next.
4. Take the actions you can
Your opinions and feelings of what you're doing are not important right now. They are probably responsible for why you are where you are and why you may feel stuck. Understand that, when you keep pushing forward, something will result.
5. Don't judge too early
You won't know right away if your actions are the right ones to take. Suspend your judgement and keep moving. Remember, fear is a barometer of proper actions. If something terrifies you, that is probably the thing that you should do.
Afraid of speaking? Get up and talk in front of some people. That's how the right actions will reveal themselves to you.
6. Review your goals every day
You've got to stay focused on what you want to create, not on avoiding past mistakes. Keep your goals in front of you. Write them down every day in the morning, at night and after a disappointment. You'll notice that what is important will keep coming back and what is not will drop off.
The "how" behind creating the outcome that you want will materialize in new opportunities that you haven't previously considered. Keep in mind that your awareness of these opportunities will not be there unless you focus on massive goals every day.
Commit first and figure out the rest later
Clarify the right-sized targets and avoid overwhelming yourself with technicalities, then let the target determine which actions would make your goal a reality.
If you feel overwhelmed by what you have to do and what you don't know how to do, it's normal. When I shot the trailer for my TV show, I had no clue what I was doing. I had no script, no storyboards, no network experience and a crew that I had never worked with. I didn't let it stop me.
Remember, you'll never have all the answers, your timing will never be perfect, and there will always be obstacles and difficulties to overcome. Failures are just the universe testing your perseverance and ability to adapt to reach your true potential.
Like a car stuck in the mud, you just need enough traction to move an inch. You might get dirty in the process, but it's better than being stuck.
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Video by Rajaa Elidrissi
