Funny Business with Jane Wells

The Outdoor Litter Box Is Coming (It's About Time)

SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!
Training magazine has named the "Top 125 Training Organizations in America," which, according to one press release, is for "organizations that excel at human capital development by conducting extensive research through a multi-tiered nomination, application and interview process." Someone's been drinking too much HR Kool-Aid.

Anyhow, companies on the list like to tout their showing. The Ritz Carlton Hotel Company is #1 this year. And then there's this release from J.B. Hunt Transport Services bragging, "The Company ranked No. 73, up from last year's ranking of No. 78..." Go Hunt!

TROUBLING WORKPLACE CHAIR DESTRUCTION
A new survey suggests that while we are 23% less stressed at work than we were in 2000 (how is one 23% less stressed?), some disturbing trends are on the rise.

16% of those surveyed say they've destroyed furniture at work, up from 2% in 2000. People most likely to throw a chair or ax the copy machine are in the South (21%) or Northeast (20%).

On the bright side, the number of people who have yelled at or hit a fellow employee has dropped by nearly half.

The survey is from Rachelle Canter, who wrote "Make the Right Career Move." One hint, if someone hits you at work, it's time to make a career move.

BUILDING A BETTER CAT BOX
A San Diego attorney named David Schwartz is seeing dollar signs. He has patented a cat litter box that ... I'm not kidding ... connects the house to the litter box. This way the cat does its business outside without being exposed to the elements. Schwartz came up with the idea because his three cats took over a room in his home and it really smelled.

If you go to his website, you can see the basic idea. Schwartz tells Wireless Flash News - though, that he's having a hard time selling the cat box idea in the dog-eat-dog world of pet products. Companies which like the idea never bite. "There's always some reason--like the guy's boss has been fired and everything is in a holding pattern," he says. Still, he's hopeful. Schwartz would rather tell people some day that he's the "Thomas Edison of cat toilets," than tell them he's a lawyer.

FINALLY, A HUNDRED WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER, BUT PAY ME $16.47 FIRST
A book coming out next month from former Wall Street Journal reporter Pamela Druckerman explains all the ways people describe adultery in other countries. It's called "Lust in Translation: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee." We need to pay money for this? For example, Dutchmen who cheat are "pinching a cat in the dark" (I thought it would be a "Dutch Treat"). In Taiwan, a guy who fools around is "a big white turnip with a colorful core." Don't think about that one too much. And in Israel, when a wife cheats, the husband is told, "A tied-up mare eats, too." Now there's a sexy image for you. Maybe I do wanna pay money for this...

NOTE: By the way, the other day I mocked actress Emma Watson, who signed on for the final two "Harry Potter" films. A reader responded that I wasn't playing fair. She's right. Watson is only 16, and I was kinda mean. I apologize.

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