Funny Business with Jane Wells

Romney or Obama, Who'd You Rather?

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President Obama and Governor Romney have been talking almost nonstop about the importance of women: women's rights, women in the workplace, choice, salaries, flextime, small business, motherhood, hairspray, the pros and cons of Latisse...

Now women are talking back.

In what may be the most unusual poll of the political season, AshleyMadison.com claims it asked 23,000 married women which presidential candidate they'd rather have an affair with.

Yes, it's come to this.

A website dedicated to providing married people with opportunities for discreet affairs has turned its attention to the two most important married men in the country, aside from Justin Timberlake (another one gets away...).

The news isn't good for the GOP.

(Read More: Scary Indicator II: Who's Ahead Now—Obama or Romney?)

According to AshleyMadison, 73 percent of women under 35 would rather have an affair with Barack Obama than Mitt Romney. For women over 35, Romney pulls even with the President.

But what about those crucial swing states? (get it - swing states) It's a toss-up!

In Florida, 51 percent of women say Romney would get their "vote" (wink, wink), while in Ohio, 55 percent "would choose to cheat with the President."

This is some country we have!

AshleyMadison.com founder and CEO Noel Biderman says the results prove that "physical attraction may be a bigger determining factor than economics, foreign policy or even women's rights when it comes to female voting preferences for President."

Well...hold on a sec. The women weren't asked who they planned to vote for, just who they'd rather cheat with. I mean, Timberlake for President? I don't think so.

A day after — er, his world — by offering $5 million offer to charity if the President coughs up his college and passport application papers, the reaction has not been kind. Even the President . The Donald's reputation is in need of a comb-over.

Still, this is hardly the first time the billionaire developer has had to deal with bad press. He's taken heat over the years for a number of things, including his habit of trading in wives for younger models.

But Donald Trump is hardly the first man to do this.

A Chinese man has reportedly divorced his wife and won $120,000 after suing her for being ugly.

According to Planet Ivy, Jian Feng didn't realize his wife was unattractive when he married her because she'd spent a ton of money on plastic surgery (which she neglected to mention). Only after she gave birth to their baby did Feng suspect something amiss.

Seems the little girl was not as cute as dad expected and she didn't look like either parent. He accused his wife of cheating, but she was innocent. Instead, she finally blurted out the ugly truth about her premarital surgeries. "Feng took the only right-minded course of action and divorced and sued her, claiming that she got him to marry her under false pretenses," reports the website.

The judge agreed, reportedly awarding Feng the money. Maybe if President Obama takes Donald Trump up on his offer and submits his application papers, at least some of Trump's $5 million gift can go to the now ex-Mrs. Feng and her daughter in a karmic act of contrition.

Oh, who am I kidding…

—By CNBC's Jane Wells
@janewells

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