Funny Business with Jane Wells

Your very own 3-D-printed baby? Yes, it's real

Nothing is more joyous than a newborn. A new life restores faith in ourselves, in God, in the future. Babies mean hope.

Lately, however, they're creeping me out.

3D Babies creates a 3-D replica of your baby.

There's a new movie called "The Devil's Due," about a woman who gives birth to Satan's spawn. Yes, apparently "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Omen" needed a makeover for the Facebook generation.

To promote the film, a hidden camera crew punked people on the streets of New York with a decoy baby in a stroller. As strangers walk by and glance at the child, the animatronic newborn, who looks a bit like "Chuckie," sits straight up and starts screaming like a banshee. Passersby jump out of their skin. Not even New Yorkers are tough enough to handle this.

It's hilarious, unless you die of a heart attack.

If that's not scary enough, here's a baby shower gift idea sure to make you double down on birth control.

There's a company that will take the ultrasound pictures of your as-yet-unborn baby and turn them into a 3-D model of the fetus. is using a 3-D printer to churn out fetus figurines in sizes ranging from 2 to 8 inches. Buyers can choose skin tone, fetal position, and decide whether or not junior's private parts should be seen. They cost as much as $600. Buy one for yourself, and buy extras for the grandparents!

Baby falls out of carriage; Woman saves day

But that's not all! The company can take photos of your child after he or she is born and turn them into a lifelike 3-D figurine. Nevermind that you already have the real child in 3-D.

I suppose someone might want to buy one as a memento, the way you bronze a baby's shoes, but after seeing "The Devil's Due," aren't you afraid that doll is going to show up in your bedroom one night carrying a knife and demanding revenge for feeding him gluten-free organic mashed peas when all he wanted was a couple of french fries?

And that's not all. Oh, no. You see, even if you don't actually have a bun in the oven, or out of the oven, 3D Babies will sell you the likeness of ... someone else's baby. A celebrity, to be specific. It is currently selling figurines of North West, daughter of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, for $250.

The fact that someone other than Kimye might buy one is the scariest idea of all.

—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter @janewells