Are you icing down the bubbly hoping to toast Dow 18,000? Did your puts on oil futures guarantee a happy holiday? How about flash trading giving you that final $0.000001 per share that you needed to put you over the top this year?
Celebrate! Toast a profitable 2014 and ring in 2015 with the appropriate Wall Street cocktails. Financial media consulting firm Cognito comes out with its own menu every year, and I've added a few of my own.
Jack Ma-tini - This drink is eccentric but surprisingly powerful. Once drunk exclusively in Asia, it's now public stateside and everyone's clamoring for a taste. Martini with a twist
The Smash Boys - A favorite of Michael Lewis, these cocktails are served super fast and rigged just the way he likes them. Muddled red seedless grapes, fresh lemon juice, white wine, Ketel One vodka
The Ginger Snapchat - This valuable concoction could fetch $10 in some venues and disappears in a flash. Vodka, lime juice, ginger beer
Sex on the Breach - Down(load) this fruity fave and you'll be spilling personal information in no time! Vodka, peach schnapps, orange and cranberry juice
Crypto Libre - Potentially for a limited time only, this trendy mix is shaking things up. Payment in bitcoin only. Classic margarita
My heartfelt additions:
Whiskey Sour Crude - The cheapest cocktail on the menu this year, and the longer you wait, the cheaper it gets. Lemon juice, sugar, unleaded whiskey
Irish Inversion Coffee - Warm yourself up with a holiday coffee containing a pot of tax-avoidance gold at the end of the rainbow. Hot coffee, brown sugar, jigger of duty free Irish whiskey, heavy cream whipped free of taxes
Baloney Bellini - A frothy cocktail for a frothy market. Extra bubbles please! Sparkling wine, peach puree, splash of hype