When Foot Locker reported its much weaker-than-expected quarterly results that sent its stock down nearly 28 percent in a single day, Jim Cramer said he felt utterly "blindsided."
"That's how I view this disastrous quarter from Foot Locker, results so stunning that I have to tell you, you can never, ever look at this company the same way again," the "Mad Money" host said.
But what was even worse than the headlines, which cited missed estimates and a 6 percent drop in same-store sales, was the management's commentary, Cramer said.
Foot Locker CEO Richard Johnson said the team was working quickly to adjust to an rapidly changing retail landscape to make up for the shocking declines in Nike Jordans sales and Adidas Steve Smith Shoes, but Cramer worried that they couldn't work fast enough.
The biggest shock to Cramer were the chain's stated "double-digit declines in basketball" shoes, a sign that could mean the retailer's problems go deeper than changing tastes.
"That's why I say, even with the stock down from $47 to $31 in two days, it's still not a buy," he said. "I just don't know what can turn it around. And you know what? I don't think they do either."
August Knows Nothing!
It became quite clear to Cramer on Monday that the stock market was trading on, well, nothing.
"I've thought a lot about these periods and I've learned that there is such a thing as random movement periodically, and it always gets ascribed to something. The market's not always logical and the action doesn't always have to have a concrete cause," Cramer said. "It might as well be ascribed ... to the eclipse."
For example, the Nasdaq extended its losing streak, led by technology stocks. FAANG, Cramer's acronym for the stocks of Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix and Google, now Alphabet, all opened lower.
In due course, analysts scrambled to find explanations for the tech giants' declines, compiling obituaries about potential issues that could doom the stocks once and for all.
"But this is what I mean about August," Cramer said. "The fact is ... there's nothing really going on at Facebook, and nothing at Apple, Amazon, Netflix [or] Alphabet. They remain dominant in their industries, as dominant as they were when they reported their earnings."
ADP CEO on Proxy Fight with Bill Ackman
After Automatic Data Processing announced on Monday that its board unanimously rejected Pershing Square's three board nominees, its President and CEO, Carlos Rodriguez, recalled a phone call with Pershing Square chief and billionaire activist investor Bill Ackman.
"I had a conversation with Bill right before we, I guess, agreed to disagree that he was going to launch a proxy contest, and I asked him, 'Bill, I know you have a vacation, which is what's getting in the way and why you need to have an extension of this deadline, but when you get back from vacation, why can't we meet then?" Rodriguez told Cramer on Monday.
According to Rodriguez, Ackman then said that he was not yet ready with his presentation about the company, which eventually came out as a 167-slide clinic on ADP's alleged pitfalls.
Rodriguez said that he and his management team saw Ackman's presentation no sooner than when it was released to the public, and that he would have appreciated the chance to meet with Ackman before its release to correct some of the report's "wrong conclusions."
More Value in Macy's?
As shares of Macy's continue to slide on worries about the fate of brick-and-mortar retail, Jim Cramer wondered when the department store chain's stock would finally be too low to ignore.
"That's kind of a loaded question because in reality, Macy's has been a value trap for a long time. Every time it starts to look like a bargain, the earnings estimates get cut again and the stock has another down leg," the "Mad Money" host said. "However, Macy's owns a lot of real estate underneath its stores, and if its stock keeps falling, sooner or later it will end up being cheaper than the company's sum of the parts valuation."
In other words, Macy's still has a lot of quality assets under its belt. It operates over 700 Macy's- and Bloomingdale's-branded stores, as well as 125 specialty shops that include outlets and Bluemercury locations.
Until 2015, Macy's was seen as one of the top department store chains in the country, but the rise of online shopping made Wall Street wary of mall-based stores, Cramer said.
CyrusOne CEO: Early Innings of a Decade-Long Trend
Finally, Cramer spoke with Gary Wojtaszek, the president and CEO of data center real estate investment trust CyrusOne, one of the top players in outsourced, cloud-based storage solutions.
"I think we're still in a first or second inning of a trend that's going to go on for another decade," Wojtaszek told Cramer on Monday. "Everyone is starting to recognize more and more that it's much more effective to outsource all their data center needs, and all your FANG companies that you talk about all the time are also now starting to realize the opportunity to outsource to a company like us."
Despite being "sold out" of available space, Wojtaszek said his REIT has been growing steadily, boasting clients that include nine of the top 10 cloud companies in the world.
"We have nine of the top ten cloud companies in the world. We're working hard to get the last one in the portfolio. And as the growth in cloud goes, so goes our company as well," the CEO said.
Lightning Round: Don't Hate on ADSK
In Cramer's lightning round, he flew through his take on some callers' favorite stocks:
Autodesk: "Yes, absolutely. I think there's nothing wrong other than some profit-taking in the Nasdaq. Remember, we felt that their biggest problem was piracy, and that's being solved."
Burlington Stores: "I have to tell you, I think that Burlington's [earnings report is] going to be good because Ross [Stores'] was good. They're very similar models."
Disclosure: Cramer's charitable trust owns shares of Apple, Facebook and Alphabet.
Questions for Cramer?
Call Cramer: 1-800-743-CNBC
Want to take a deep dive into Cramer's world? Hit him up!
Mad Money Twitter - Jim Cramer Twitter - Facebook - Instagram - Vine
Questions, comments, suggestions for the "Mad Money" website? madcap@cnbc.com