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Seinfeld, All About Bees, And How I Made Jerry Laugh

Bee Movie
Bee Movie

My head is buzzing at the moment. I've been out on the farm trying to separate fact from fiction in the "great bee disappearance of 2007." This on the same week Jerry Seinfeld debuts in an animated movie in which he plays a bee.

It's all about the bees lately. Seinfeld's film, "Bee Movie," is his first big splash since his hit show's final broadcast in May 1998. I remember that broadcast very well, because I was in it. I played a character named... Jane Wells. She was a TV reporter. It wasn't much of a stretch, but it was a lot of fun.

A lot of people have asked me over the years how I ended up on that show. It all happened because of O.J. Simpson.

Larry David had been a fan of CNBC's coverage of the O.J. Simpson trials on "Rivera Live." I was a reporter there for Geraldo. For the final episode of "Seinfeld," David wanted to incorporate trial coverage as the four main characters were arrested for mocking someone who needed help.

I happened to be working for another network at the time (the Simpson case was over and I'd moved on to another job). One day I got this call out of the blue from Castle Rock Entertainment, the producers of the show, asking, "Would you like to appear on the final episode of 'Seinfeld'?" I blurted out "Yes," and was sworn to secrecy. I didn't even tell my employer at the time. I figured it was worth getting fired for.

I show up on the appointed day and was ushered into in a small, bare bones trailer (chair, mirror, table). I was commanded not to leave. You have to remember...everyone wanted to know how the show was going to end, and here I was a real life reporter (FROM ANOTHER NETWORK) inside on the set!

They gave me my lines, which I had to sign for. Superimposed across the two pages of script I received was a huge number. I assume this was a security device to identify me if I tried to xerox the script and pass it around.

When I was finally called to the set, there was Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David! And they said, "Hi, Jane!" Nervously I did take one of my first scene. Larry David walked over and said, "That was great, but do it more...'O.J..'" I was thinking, "Well that's exactly what I just gave you." But I knew what he wanted. He wanted it more over-the-top. And, baby, did I give it my best shot.

Jane Wells
NBC
Jane Wells

I've attached a couple of images of me from the show here. Check out the hair and the trenchcoat. Yeesh.

Still, I was thinking, "Man, I'm not funny." But then I look over to the side, and there is Jerry Seinfeld laughing his head off at my delivery! I'M MAKING JERRY SEINFELD LAUGH. And I'm thinking, I can't tell anyone about this for six weeks. I CAN'T TELL ANYONE THAT I'M MAKING JERRY SEINFELD LAUGH, AND THERE'S THE SOUP NAZI OVER THERE GIVING ME A SMILE.

Jane Wells
NBC
Jane Wells

As I was leaving, Larry David approached me and said, "I know you're a reporter, but you need to keep quiet about all this." I assured him that there was absolutely no way I was going to mention anything to anyone and risk being cut out of the show.

I told him, "As a news reporter, I'm often told things off the record which I have to keep secret. Even in the O.J. trial." Just saying "O.J." brought a flicker to his eye. It was like the ultimate business card--"I covered O.J."

He looked at me and said, "I bet you've heard some stuff in that case." I nodded sagely. Truth is, I didn't know bupkiss, but I kept that to myself.

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