There’s nothing like a meltdown to unleash America’s gallows humor.
From Jay Leno:
"The stock market crashed this week, but market analysts are not calling it a crash. They're calling it a 'correction.' Oh, shut up! A correction. You never hear that at NASCAR. 'Oh, we had a fiery correction on turn three. Four men are dead.'"
"Let me ask you, why are we bailing out an insurance company? I mean, what's the first thing an insurance company does when you have a loss? They cancel your policy, right? That's what we should do, cancel their policy. 'Ooh, sorry, you're too much of risk.'"
From Jimmy Kimmel:
"Stock prices are down, major companies are being purchased by the government. It is a bear market and, I have to say, Sarah Palin is just the lady to shoot it for us."
And over at The Onion, they’re parodying the way the federal government has been breaking new ground this week to help everyone. In this case, Congress is temporarily repealing the minimum drinking age in a bill called “Jenny’s Turning 17!!!” Here’s more:
“Jenny only turns 17 once, and that she deserves to have a party that is both totally awesome and permitted under United States statutory law," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid tells The Onion, adding "Furthermore, Brad is going to be there, and it is our understanding that Jenny really, really likes Brad." The article goes on to say that, “A proposed rider by Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN) to secure invites for himself and two of his friends was defeated in committee.”
If you’ve read or heard any good jokes about this momentous week, pass them along. We could use a few laughs in between shots of Dramamine and scotch.
For Investors
- Is It Time to Buy Stocks Now?
- Measuring Risk in Volatile Times
- What the Experts Think You Should Do
- Is Your Money-Market Fund Safe? Find Out
- Slideshow: Biggest Chapter 11 Cases in US History
- Eight Tips for Investing in Hard Times
- Need Safety? Take a Look at Bonds
- What If You're a Client of Lehman, Merrill or AIG?
- Have an AIG Insurance Policy? Don't Fret
- How You Can Protect Your Money
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com
