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Recession's "TP" Indicator, Obama's Hands And a Pilot Smackdown

First, this headline: Kimberly-Clark says people are not only trading down in this economy, they're actually buying less toilet paper.

Let me think this one through...

If you have less money, you buy less food, there is less to digest, which means less...

Actually, Ad Age reports that K-C Chairman and CEO Tom Falk indicated that people may not actually be using less TP, they're just using up the 500 rolls they got at Costco before replenishing supplies.

BAD TCHOTCHKES

PopHangover.com is listing the "15 Most Ridiculous Obama Collectibles"! There's the Obama Hope on a Rope, and the "Yes We Can-dles". You can fork over $55 for custom made Obama Air Force One "Yes We Can" sneakers, which PopHangover calls "Simply hideous...Yes We Can… go to the store and buy you another pair of shoes."

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But perhaps most disturbing is the Obama low cut males briefs—guys, do you really want the President there? And then there's what the PopHangover editor calls, "one of the creepiest things I've ever seen," the Toy Replica of Obama's Hands.

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BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

You think the above product ideas are the result of too many liberal bong hits? Hold on...

For parents who don't find their young babies amusing enough, but feel the need to push the envelope, there's BabyToupee.com. "Life is too short to take seriously," says the Santa Barbara-based business, "Have fun with your baby!"

The wigs are sized from newborn through nine months, cost about $22, and come in four styles. There's the Lil Kim, a platinum pink blonde wig, and the Bob, a dreadlocked Rasta wig with the slogan "No baby, no cry". There's the Samuel L., as in Jackson, reminiscent of "Pulp Fiction", and, finally, there's The Donald. But making your baby wear a replica of Trump's hair could be considered child abuse.

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"REAL US AIRWAYS PILOTS"

More fallout from my post on United Airlines' joint venture with Aer Lingus, and whether the allegedly "outsourced" pilots will be as qualified as US Airways Capt. Chesley Sullenberger, who may be "too expensive" in today's environment.

We heard from a few US Airways pilots who say they're hardly "expensive", as they're retirement and pay have been cut dramatically in the merger with America West. By the way, full disclosure, I'm married to a former TWA pilot who went through the merger with American, and, well, I hear a lot about seniority lists and mergers. A lot.

US Airways (America West) Capt. Jack has had it with "cry babies": "Oh please, let's talk about the 'Real US Airways Pilots'. The guys who aided in destroying their former company through extremely high pay and benefits demands in the past. Who aided their company in becoming bankrupt twice and who were ultimately saved by the 'less experienced' (gotta love that one) pilots and employees of America West Airlines. (At least the 'less experienced America West pilots don't crash airplanes on a regular basis?) The 'Real US Airways Pilots' have been a bunch of cry babies their entire careers. After America West came in and bailed the company out of bankruptcy through an alleged merger, the two pilot groups, who were represented by the same union, agreed to Federal Binding Arbitration. This arbitration would determine the combined seniority list of the two, now merged, carriers. The 'Real US Airways Pilots' were not happy with the Arbitrated list, as it doesn't further 'prop up' their failed careers, at the expense of a group that saved their bacon from liquidation. The 'Real US Airways Pilots' then took their ball and went home, cried and used their larger numbers to form a new 'let's pretend we're a union'. They are continuing to attempt to pass off the Federally agreed to, Final and Binding List, as null and void. This process isn't going especially well for the 'Real US Airways Pilots' so now they cry and complain that 'we're the lowest paid major airline pilots in the industry.' If fate would have actually occurred, their low pay would have been much much lower, like zero, in liquidation. The America West Pilot group and all members of society believe that the 'Real US Airways Pilots' are simply SCABS. They should apologize to the America West Pilots for their unprofessional actions and then say, 'Thank you'. 'Thank you for saving us from a certain death in a difficult industry.' With all that said, maybe the 'Real US Airways Pilots' should simply SUCK IT UP, and do the right thing for once? Do it before their miserable careers come to an end?"

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