Spend It If You've Got It—Extreme Buys

Source: stuarthughes.com

Why let the government separate you from your end-of-the-week paycheck? You can do that just fine on your own.

Here are a few ideas.

First, buy yourself the most expensive iPhone ever made — only $8 million.

It's got 500 diamonds and is surrounded by rose gold (wonder if that helps or hurts the dropped calls dilemma).

Best of all, it comes with it's own granite case, which weighs 15 pounds, because you're not conspicuous enough already.

Second, haven't gotten your Halloween costume yet?

Stalkaround Halloween Costume
Source: exmortis.com
Stalkaround Halloween Costume

Take this month's rent and spend it on a costume guaranteed to scare the...candy... out of kid's hands this year.

Ex Mortis "Stalkarounds" are horrific looking costume/puppet combos which stand 8 feet tall .

They cost around $1,600.

Yes, that's a lot, but think of the money you'll save never having to buy candy again because no child will come near your house.


Finally, poor (well, rich) Mahesh Patel won't open his $150,000 bottle of scotch and share it with us!

Glass of Whiskey
Jonnie Miles | Getty Images
Glass of Whiskey

I'll just have to toast the launch of the weekend this evening with something a little cheaper.

However, it won't be a glass of Shiraz...even though I like Shiraz.

Rex Pickett, the author of "Sideways", wrote me about the blog I posted this week on his upcoming sequel, "Vertical".

In the blog I mentioned the impact his first book had on Merlot sales. Pickett wrote back that he never thought his words would have such a devastating effect. "I don't vilify any wines in the sequel," he says. "Though I should have considered Shiraz as the next grape variety to go the way of pet rocks."

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com