Funny Business with Jane Wells

How to be a News Reporter, Hitler on the iPad, and Your Emails

Want my job? It's really quite simple. A reader tipped me off this how-to video on YouTube from the BBC which tells you everything you need to know to be a successful TV news reporter (except for the one "f-bomb" he lets loose--warning).

For those of you who read my recent blog about "b-roll ", you'll recognize the reliance on using video of faceless obese people.

Quite a bit of email over my blog on the awkwardly-named iPad . For example, someone notified me that even Hitler doesn't like the name .

"D" in Tenn. did not care for my reaction: "Always interested in your take on things, but I gotta say on this one - it's embarrassing. This 'verbalized' perspective on the iPad is beneath you..."

Derek B. saw it differently: "My friend and I were discussing exactly that today! Terrible name! And this is from a guy's perspective. Believe me, as much as women don't want to touch one, neither do we!"

Tim N.: "I might suggest an I-Brief, I-Pocket, I-Find, I-Read as better alternatives. Can't beat the innovation and brand power. Too bad we aren't building them in the US."

On the blog about strange interview questions , Ed T. apparently thought it was open mic night: "Question: Have you ever had sex with an animal? Answer: No, unless you count my first wife!" ?

I got a lot of email about the blog seeking the identity of the creepy looking Mountain Man in the ads.

Garland R writes: "I noticed that Scary-Looking Mountain Man (a.k.a. 'Psycho-Killer' Scary Pitch dude) has been dumped by CNBC in favor of Disturbingly Green Day Glow Extraterrestrial Girl in the ads. You must have more influence than I thought. :>) I still would not click on that link." ?

Stephen G. saw something sinister at work: "A friend in the industry pointed out the obvious- the image is a play off of 'the American Taliban' (John Walker Lindh). This image is reinforced by the HUGE "9/10"- positioned right next to his face. They couldn't use the date 9/11- that would be too obvious. You really don't think the date '9/10' was placed there by accident, do you? So, this is what we have come to: hawking re-finance via War on Terror imagery...The ads are designed to cut through the jumble on the screen by flagging the unconscious with fear." ?

Steve E.: "I hate to disappoint you but the individual you refer to has no criminal record and is the most courteous, gentleman anyone could ever meet...I have known the gentleman in question since high school. In fact, the way he is made up is a result of the miracles of makeup artists because this fellow is actually bald and had to reach deep for that insane look. I tried and tried to get him to write you but he feared it might jeopardize his job since he occupies a very sensitive position at the nuclear test facility at Los Alamos." (JANE: BWAAAAAA HA HA HA HA)

Calvin L.: "I also have always wondered who that caveman guy is, I thought it was a promo to show how screwed up Joaquin Phoenix looks right now." ?

Jonathan M. "I sold online advertising for most of the last 8 years and find these campaigns,,and particularly the two images you featured, to be truly bizarre...My theory is that these are efforts to overcome 'banner blindness' which set in after people began to use the internet regularly and didn't click on everything that flashed on the screen. The images may be unpleasant, but they capture attention, which is much more difficult to do than in say 1998."?

Paul R: "What I want to know is how many millions the chick from Progressive Insurance is making????? God, she's everywhere!!! Reminds me of Josephine the Plumber, who, if you remember, was also very popular on TV. See what you can find out!!"

Chris C. wrote in about the blog revealing that one in three Californians questions whether President Obama was born in the U.S .: "As a person who grew up on the East Coast, went to school on the West Coast and was able to visit California a few times, you are completely correct: California is a truly unique place and has many incredible features. However, as a person who has worked internationally now over the past two decades, you are also quite correct on another thing (and this truly amazes me as I watch from a distance, too): it is shocking to see so many Americans giving even a minute of their time contemplating if the birthers may be correct. It is shocking and makes me wonder if, instead of the rest of America becoming more like California, America and California instead are becoming more like a nation that has yet to reach modernity..." 

Source: Jeff J.

On Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner week, Jeff J. writes: "After learning about Bernanke's reconfirmation AND watching 'Titanic', I was inspired to create fake photos."

Check it out.

Finally, I got a lot of feedback on the blog I wrote suggesting "Avatar " was a lot like "Pocahontas", right down to the importance of trees.

Dorothea B. points out there are other movies with important trees: "'Throne of Blood' (Akira Kurosawa). Which is, of course, a remake of Macbeth." ?

Marc K: "I don't remember anyone lining up for the Disney movie. Should Avatar's nickname now be 'Dancing with Pocahontas Smurfs?'" ?

Carrie V.: "Why is the media always trying to pull people down by highlighting some irrelevant small whining controversy by a blogger, I guess now that you put it out there on the headline news you have made some little punk his 15 minutes of fame? Are you just so incapable of real news that you have to tear down a really enjoyable film that simply makes people happy to see it? Is that the only thing you can say about the film? Id like to know more about the technology behind the CGI-I mean WOW! What about the AMAZING art, graphics and 3-D dream world they created? I wish I lived in such as beautiful place, the art was worth all three times I saw it and I'd like to go again and again. The story is totally predictable, just like 'Titanic' and every other love story out there, but so what? It makes people happy to imagine such beauty, to feel like they are there, like they can dream..." ?

John M.: "I saw Avatar the first weekend it was out and was very disappointed. Yes, I would give the movie a 7 or 8 on a scale of 10 so it was worth the money. However, come on man, how many movies can you steal from to make your own 'original' movie. I kept thinking of the 'Matrix'. The fighting machines are nearly identical, they are very similar to the machines from 'Terminator' also..."

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