Funny Business with Jane Wells

What Would You Do to Avoid Paying the Bills?

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It's getting close to the end of the month. Time to break out the checkbook (anyone still have one of those?) and pay the bills.

This time of year, it's not only the usual bills piling up by month's end, but there's also the check many Americans will write the IRS by April 15. In some states like California, property taxes are due.

Spring sucks.

Instead of hunkering down to get the task done, I think I'll just surf the Interweb ... or take a walk ... or learn how to cook finally ... or ... anything. Emphasis on "anything."

Some people really will do anything to avoid paying the bills, according to BillFloat, a company in the business of automatically paying your bills for you from your bank account every 30 days.

The service aims to take the hassle out of the process. A lot of people are already doing something similar. Zacks says nearly 20 percent of all bills are being paid through automatic deductions or recurring payments.

That means 80 percent are being paid the old fashion way, one at a time.

How much of a hassle is it? According to a survey by Toluna (commissioned by BillFloat), some people would rather give up sex than pay the bills.

A lot of people, actually.

Forty percent of those surveyed claim they would abstain from sex for a month if it meant they could avoid the monthly bill-paying hassle, a figure that's doubled in a year. Thirty days of no whoopee to avoid a couple hours work in front of the computer. "I handle my bill-paying for sex via automatic deductions!" joked @tunaquarter in response.

(Read More: Sex or Sleep? You Gotta Ask the Question)

Broken down by gender, 36 percent of men say they'd abstain from sex to avoid paying the bills, and 45 percent of women—nearly half—agree. The women ... not much of a surprise here. BUT MORE THAN ONE IN THREE MEN? This qualifies as a crisis.

It gets weirder.

When asked for other "creative" sacrifices Americans would be willing to make to avoid paying the bills, we learn a lot about ourselves.

More than one third, 37 percent, would turn off TV for a month. Mind you, this isn't in exchange for someone coming up with the money to cover your bills, it's just for someone to go through the process of paying them for you.

(Read More: One Quarter of US Has More Card Debt Than Savings)

One in four say they'd give up digital devices and cellphones for a month to avoid paying bills. I suspect none is under the age of 50.

Sixteen percent would go without sunlight for a month. Probably everyone in Alaska and Forks, Wash. (Google "Twilight"), because that's standard operating procedure there.

Seven percent say they'd be willing to add 25 pounds of body weight "in exchange for peace of mind that bills are paid." Funny, they didn't ask how many people would be willing to LOSE 25 pounds.

No sunlight, no cellphones, no television, and extra donuts, just to avoid paying the bills. Still, none of these sacrifices has as many willing takers as the suggestion they give up sex for a month. Forty percent? Really? As @MichaelMcEvilly tweeted: "100% of those 40% are married so giving up once a month not that hard."

So what about the following month?

(Read More: Why Marriage Makes Women Drink More)

—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter: @janewells