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Cougars, Girlfriends, Frenemies — The Funny Business Women's Issue

Yesterday we talked about products for men, addressing their priorities. You know—bacon, unwashed underwear, sex. The usual.

Today we cover business opportunities exploiting the needs of women.

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Zero Creatives | Cultura | Getty Images

First, women need other women, especially if men start buying bacon-scented candles and refusing to wash their underwear (see yesterday's blog).

Girlfriends are the best.

They laugh with you, cry with you, judge you, judge others with you, flirt with your husband, talk behind your back, and bail you out of jail.

Here's my favorite girlfriend video this week.

I was at the Cheesecake Factory the other night, paging through the 532-page menu, when I saw an ad for GirlfriendsMeetUp.com—"A Private Social Club for Women with an exclusive focus on Friendships".

Wha??

Girlfriends Meet Up seeks to create a network for women who have no girlfriends, or at least none living close by. "Everyone knows somebody who needs more friends...A pathway to finding true friends is, like buying a white alpaca floor length coat, now only a click away."

True friendship is only a click away? I could've saved myself years of listening to someone else's troubles, stepping in during a crisis, and buying all those rounds of drinks.

Maybe it's me, but something doesn't sound right about finding a gal pal online. It's like a dating site for women who aren't dating and aren't looking to date but are lonely and can't manage to find girlfriends. It's not dating, it's not mating, it's...girlfriend dating. Gating? BFFating?

Girlfriends Meet Up claims it started in Las Vegas "as an alternative to the Las Vegas nightclub scene". Yes, let's find an alternative to the most fun one can have in America. Still, maybe they're on to something. My girlfriends and I never throw our heads back in hysterical laughter like they do in the pictures here. Maybe my GQQ (girlfriend quality quotient) is low.

That could be due to the fact that, like many women, I prefer the company of men. I'm fortunate enough to be married to a great guy, because the older a woman gets, the harder it is to find a man.

Which brings me to the other business opportunity I discovered this week targeting women: Cougar Life. "Cougar Life is the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!" If the woman shown on the website qualifies as a cougar, then I'm Ben Bernanke.

The internet is wonderful. Find girlfriends online. Find younger men online. I can't wait to discuss all of this the next time I see my girlfriends—all of whom I met offline.

Let me leave you with some funny girlfriend spoofs:

This one, called "The Sounds of a Girl's Night Out" stars Ellie Kemper, the actress who plays "Erin" on "The Office".

This video teaches women how to spot "Frenemies".

And in this video, comedian Adam Ray attempts some Girl Talk. However, being a guy, he can't help himself. The video eventually devolves into spitting food and talking about smells. Warning: language - be careful of who is listening!!

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com